Need help? Reach out. People Care

Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe, you probably are. Don’t wait; talk to someone you trust immediately, a parent or the parent of a friend, an older sibling, a teacher, school counselor, or school nurse, your doctor or faith-based leader. It’s not your fault. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you talk to an adult, know that some adults are prohibited by law from keeping dating violence a secret. They must tell the police about the abuse. These people are called “mandated reporters.” Some examples of mandated reporters are teachers, counselors, doctors, and sometimes coaches or other activity leaders. You can ask people whether they are mandated reporters before talking with them.

If you want to stay in the relationship, realize that the violence will not just stop or go away. You cannot change your boyfriend or girlfriend’s behavior by changing your behavior, nor are you in any way responsible for the abuse. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may need counseling or other outside help to change and you may need support so that you can begin to heal.

help_illus

Enhance your safety

You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a violent dating relationship. It takes a lot of courage to end any relationship. If there’s violence involved, it can take a whole lot more. Here are some things to consider in thinking about your safety.

  • Who can you tell about the abuse?
  • What people at school can you tell
    –teachers, principal, counselors, security?
  • Consider changing your school locker or lock.
Where to get help

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
If you or a friend might be in an abusive relationship, talk to a parent/caregiver, a school counselor, or another adult you trust, or a local domestic or sexual violence program.

Hotline Numbers

National Dating Abuse Helpline

1-866-331-9474 or

www.loveisrespect.org to chat online

National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

National Sexual Assault Hotline

1-833-656-HOPE (4673) or
www.rainn.org to chat online

  • Consider changing your route to/from school.
  • Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities.
  • What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?
  • If stranded, who could you call for a ride home? What is that person’s phone number?
  • Keep a journal describing the abuse.
  • Change the number to any cell phones the abuser gave you. Keep a cell phone, money, the number of someone who could help you and any protection order with you at all times.
  • Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person? Do you know the address or route to get there?

Court Civil Protection Order or School Stay Away Order

  • A protection order is civil court order that can restrict or prohibit contact between an individual who is experiencing abuse and the person engaging in abusive behavior. Contact your local courthouse to see if you are eligible to apply. Ask your school administrators if you can have a school stay away order.
  • As a teen, you may be able to apply for a civil protection order without a parent. Some laws permit parents or a guardian to apply for a protective order on your behalf.
  • You may be able to apply for a protection order even if criminal charges have not been filed against the person harassing you, or if you have already obtained a No Contact Order as part of a criminal proceeding.
  • You can ask the court to make changes that will enhance your safety – such as changing your school class schedule, restricting the abuser from attending your school events.
  • Make copies of the protection order and keep one with you at all times

Help a friend who is being abused

  • Listen and ask how you can help.
  • Don’t blame the victim for the crime.
  • Tell your friend that you’re worried.
  • Encourage your friend to seek help.
  • Avoid confronting the abuser. It could be dangerous.
  • Support your friend to make his or her own decisions.

Help a friend who is abusive

When talking to a friend who is being abusive, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Be specific about what you saw and how it made you feel.
  • Make sure the your friend realizes that his or her actions have consequences, and he or she could get into serious trouble—from getting expelled from school to going to jail.
  • Urge your friend to get help, from a counselor, coach, or any trusted adult, and offer to go with her or him if they want support.
  • Let your friend know that you care and that you know he or she has it in him to change.
  • Many teens who hurt their girlfriends or boyfriends don’t consider themselves “abusers”—many are in denial about the severity of their actions. It’s hard for us, as their friends, to believe it, too. But reaching out and talking to a friend we think is being violent in her or his relationship is an act of friendship, though it may seem like the hardest thing you can do.
  • Talk to an adult you trust, one who you think will get your friend the help he or she needs and stick by you and support you for talking to them.

© 2023 Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence | Nonprofit (501c3) Organization • • 208.384.0419

Sitemap • Terms & Conditions • Site by White Whale Web, Boise Web Development

Terms & Conditions:

By submitting your entry, you are submitting your own, non-copyrighted work. You (or your parents/legal guardians if you are a minor) are not entitled to payment for your submission, regardless of it the submission is used or not. By submitting the photo, you (or your parents/guardians if you are a minor) are granting the Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence, its funders, successors and assigns, the right to use the entry and other information provided with the entry as it sees fit, to the extent allowed by law, including posting on www.lovewhatsreal.com, and in other manner or medium now or hereafter known or devised. The Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence, has the sole discretion in determining the extent and manner of use of submissions and is not obligated to use any submissions.

Submissions may be used in future Love What’s Real promotional materials. This contest is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Instagram or Facebook. You understand that you are providing your information to Love What’s Real and not to Instagram or Facebook. The information you provide will be used for verification of your eligibility to participate in the contest and for future Love What’s Real communication. Please direct any questions or comments regarding this contest to Love What’s Real at lovewhatsreal@gmail.com

X